Come with me, to my bed,
I wish to feel, your touch,
Your kiss, each brush,
Of your fingers,
The tip of your tongue,
As I wait for you,
To slide in,
Oh,hey loves! Your fave babe is here! As always,I come back with some new two cents. Also, I will be throwing in some really mean puns while at it. Call it stontin’. Yup. Stontin’. LL Cool Mo 😎. So, let’s be about some lil’ sex this time. It don’t hurt nobody, does it? As I try so hard to avoid channeling my inner Trey Songz (you know, that I Invented Sex vibe of his and the whole hullabaloo about the same) ,I’m just gonna tell you guys, Sex is AMAZE-BALLS!! and guess what, It is even way better when safe!
This is where Durex slides in. They just wanna ensure that your sex life is protected so that you live for the moment and nothing else can really matter. From their timeless condoms, to their magical lube and multi-purpose massage gels/oils, you’ll notice that Durex has some really hot-shit products.
I’m going to talk about the condoms only today because if I’d do reviews of the rest of the other products too in this same post then I’d probably need 69 more hours to get this done with. Why? Because, amazing brand! Over the years, condoms have been underrated and drawn as some sort of hindrance during coitus. I don’t get it. You guys, condoms really come through! Religion has it that sex is purely for married people. I am not in any way against this. I respect that 100. But sometimes though, boys and girls just wanna have fu-u-uun. Don’t you think?
Do you want latex so thin it almost feels like it’s not there? Are you looking to get things heated up in your bedroom/couch/kitchen table with sweet-smelling flavours? Wanna get all things extra; lube,ribs and dots so you can hit the right spot? In the mood to get things all tingly and minty fresh? There’s always something to suit your mood with Durex .
- The first series of condoms are the Fetherlite Series . These are the thinnest of all condoms. We all know what thinness translates to. Heated sex! Mostly packaged in RED, these ultra thin condoms will give you a natural skin-to-skin illusion. They are also laced with warming lubricant. Sigh!
- The second series of condoms are the ones suited with extra goodness just to turn the heat all the way up! Here they are:-
- Pleasuremax -these are ribbed and dotted for extra stimulation. Somebody say whoa!
- Select -these are probably my current faves! For all you colorful souls, this is definitely the thing for you! The flavours smell oh-so-delish! Get yourself a pack and select your flavour!
- Sensation -these have hundreds of raised dots just to hit the right spot. P-L-E-S-U-RRRR!
- Tingle -who can resist a super fresh feeling down there? Makes you forget that you have bills to pay for a while. Or that Harambe died. These babies are laced with some tingling minty lube for a fresh sensation. They’re probably what you need for that big O.
3. Onto the next series! These are to take care of all size issues. “Oh, I’m too big to fit in there, Oh, it’s not really firm, Oh, it’s too thin, I need to feel extra safe in it…. ” Such whines lead to “Okay, let’s do away with the condom story”. But what did we say Sis? No glove,No love! 🚫 . So, here:-
- Comfort -“If you’re too big to fit through a door, make that door-space bigger”~Mo .Your Shakespeare here. Sigh. This wisdom is just too much for one person. I’ll be signing autographs right at the comments section. Thank you. Well, these condoms are extra large for those who need it. So you don’t have to complain about size again, brother.
- Close Fit -these, son, just hold yuh and give yuh the tightest hold yuh ever get inna yuh life! They fit like your girl’s favorite jeans.
- Love ♥ -these easy-on condoms are made with extra lube for greater comfort. Make love, don’t fight. With these, try to channel Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud. Also, don’t forget to play Backstreet Boys in the background. Ladies, take him out on a candle-lit dinner date after.
- Extra Safe – these condoms are slightly thicker than the standard condoms. Why? To give you that extra safe feeling while sampling your cookie jar/honey pot(call it depending on how you DEVOUR it!)
4. Allergic to latex? Forgot Durex has you all the way? Don’t risk unprotected sex just because latex irritates your skin. Pokea!
All these goody packs are readily available in leading stores and pharmacies at around KES. 250 only. You can also get them on Jumia . See? Clearly not a Chris Brown in Kenya event affair! Won’t hurt your pocket. The above reviewed series of condoms are the main ones only,there’s loads of other Durex condoms. I just couldn’t touch on each and every single Durex condom in the world because I’d do that till I’m 69 and heck, I’ll be busy being a hot,stontin’ Glam-Ma(Glam-Mo) then. I’ll do a review of the lube and the massage gels too.
Till then, No glove, No love. Yes to safe sex. Captain is out. X